SEC Form PONZ-1 · Registration Statement · New York □ London □ Blockchain
"The most consistent returns in the history of finance.*"
*Consistency achieved by making the numbers up. He stole billions — this token gives some of it back. A parody memecoin with a 10/10 tax, redistributed 100% to holders in $HOOD.
Prospectus · Article I
Every buy and every sell is taxed at 10%. Unlike the original fund, every cent is wired straight back to the holders — automatically, on-chain, in $HOOD (Robinhood) on EVM. It's the first Ponzi-themed asset in history where the money actually flows down.
No "marketing wallet." No "team allocation." No mysterious feeder fund in the Caymans. All of it goes back to the people holding.
You hold $PONZI, you get airdropped Robinhood — on EVM. Bernie faked your statements; we just send you the asset.
The longer you hold, the more you collect. It's the exact pitch Bernie used — except this time you can actually withdraw.
Prospectus · Article II
A brief performance review of the greatest "trust me bro" in financial history.
The statements said $64.8 billion. The actual trades executed with that money: basically none. He was running the world's most expensive Excel sheet.
Scheduled release: the year 2159. Even his sentence had unrealistic long-term projections.
Up market, down market, dot-com crash, didn't matter — always ~1% a month. Nobody found that suspicious for forty years.
Six separate investigations. Findings: nothing. The man passed more audits than most legit banks. Elite compliance speedrun.
Real trading on floors 18–19. The Ponzi ran on floor 17 — a "secret" office two floors down. The alpha was literally in the building the whole time.
He didn't just play the market — he chaired it. Imagine the ref also being the guy robbing the stadium.
A $65 billion fund was audited by a three-person shop in a strip mall next to a pediatrician. One accountant. Semi-retired. Living in Florida.
The trustee recovered over 70% of real losses — one of the greatest recoveries ever. "Stole millions, get some of it back" is a literal legal precedent.
Told his sons the fund was "one big lie" during the worst financial crisis in 80 years. Even his exit was market-timed terribly.
All figures historically accurate, which is honestly the funniest part. $PONZI's tokenomics are the only numbers on this page Bernie didn't fabricate.
Prospectus · Article III
Below: the fund's legendary return profile, reconstructed with cutting-edge make-it-up-onomics. Real markets wobble. Bernie's line did not. That was the tell.
Fig. 1 — Financial analysts call this pattern "a literal straight line drawn with a ruler." It is not achievable by trading. It is achievable by lying.
FIG. 2 — THE LEGITIMATE TRADING FLOOR (FLOORS 18–19). PICTURED: A MAN WHOSE OTHER FLOOR YOU COULD NOT VISIT.
“It was one big lie. This one is too — but at least we're telling you upfront, and the tax goes to you.”— The $PONZI Prospectus, Page 1, Line 1
Prospectus · Article IV
Unlike the original fund, you don't need a country club referral and a $2M minimum. You need a wallet and questionable judgment.
Any EVM wallet works. Bernie kept client funds in a Chase account; you'll be doing better than that immediately.
$PONZI launches on flap.sh. Connect your wallet. No handshake with a NASDAQ chairman needed.
Pay the 10% entry tax. Feel something. That something is every other holder receiving $HOOD because of you.
$HOOD rewards flow to your wallet on EVM while you hold. Withdrawals: instant, on-chain, and — novel concept — real.